The good ol' GLBTI community (?)

A couple of prompts to write about this: debates in the letter pages of MCV and recent goings on in the trans community.

The MCV debate is the hoary old chestnut about whether trans and intersex should be "part of 'our' community" ("our" being spoken, as usual, by a gay man).

Well Mr MSG, (misogynist separatist gayboy) you don't own the community - it's not "yours." Doesn't this sound like racists who say "we don't want these Italians (1955) Asians (1985), Muslims (2005) in OUR country?" Fear of difference in every case. But one difference: gays experience prejudice too. Isn't giving it out a bit hypocritical?

That said, we can't and shouldn't agree or defend each other simply because we are GLBTI (or one of the G,L , B etc). My approach is we ask to be treated on our merits, no differently, not better, not worse due to our sexual orientation, gender identity or intersex status.

That leads into recent goings on in the trans community. Looking at people's behaviour on its merits, when trans people bully, threaten, intimidate or mistreat other trans people, we tell them they are out of order. We don't unite to cover up wrongdoing.

This sort of behaviour occurred 3 weeks ago towards me and another trans person. I'm aware of it happening from the same person to another in the form of threats of violence over a simple difference of opinion. I have second hand information it's happened to at least ten other people, maybe twenty.

As the old maid/old Muppet in the Box of Victoria's trans community who has been around for 12-13 years, I've seen this time and again. People who stand for election in existing groups, but generally form their own groups because they have to run it their way, know it all better than everyone else and their ego says "it's my way or the highway." They bully, steamroll and cajole. They have more in common with Tony Abbott or Gunns timber than Mother Teresa. There's no "I want to care for the community," rather it's "I know how to do it better." They can't with work with other people.

I normally don't play amateur psychoanalyst, but having seen 6 examples of this, I can see a pattern. Generally, these people come out later in life. Have they spent so much time in stealth and secrecy that they can't learn to trust and be open with anyone? And, controversial as it might be, all are MTF. The phrase "residual male programming" comes to mind.

The good thing is, in the end they all disappear or end up running mini-dictatorships disguised as social/support groups. They have no influence because people see through their head-kicking ways and leave them alone (sounds like John Howard???). So we go through this over and again. What are the answers? Succession planning could be one - any others?

Earlier this year, when I (and many others) experienced bullying in a workplace. a friend said something very apt.

"The real measure of any organisation is how it treats its own people. The grand aims it has are irrelevant."

Well, this applies to the trans community too. It matters not what big ideas you have that will supposedly help trans people. Helping trans people starts NOW with how you treat them on a day-to-day basis in everyday interactions.

Maybe that's a message for this time of year too.

Bah frickin' humbug

Well December 24...

Has anyone noticed an increased stress level around Xmas this year? More horns honking, suicidal pedestrians, more aggro? Is there any jollity out there at all?

As a nice Jewish Australian Princess I obviously don't celebrate Xmas. There is no emotional attachment to it. Normally, I can, well, inoculate myself from the insanity and forge on. Not this year.

I'm stressed, fed up and over it. I can't F--KING stand it. I'm tired and want some peace and quiet.

The arbitrary deadline that Xmas creates: gotta have the "empty in-tray" by 5 PM tonight; everyone wants it all complete NOW. WHY? My Dad has a phrase "hurry up and relax." It seems apt this year. And it's all bloody stupid.

But, having vented that, I wish everyone peace and happiness.

ROFL

Hi all

That's "rolling on the floor laughing" for those not up with the trendy abbrievs.

So how come it's a day of such hilarity? To use the ol' stand-up maxim of "jokes with 3 parts":

1st, an article in Crikey about how progressive the Libs are because they've elected a Catholic as a leader. In the words of "The Rock," "well woopdy doo." Gee they've caught up to the 1950's. This means by 2050 they'll have openly GLBTI folk, single mothers, those of Muslim background, even ex-imprisoned people in the parliamentary party. So truly representative, what?

The second, also courtesy Crikey, (with respect, dark/dry humour) is about how those guardians of morality, Christian fundamentalists, have been caught out offering a home-schooling book that apparently promotes physical and emotional child abuse by approving methods of belting kids to make them G-d fearing. Yes, looking after our families for sure...

But the classic for me is Andrew Bolt. Today's Hun has an opinion poll re gay marriage equality. Yours truly naturally sent out notice of the poll to lists and yahoo groups of which I'm a member - my right to freedom of communication in a democracy.

Well http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/andrewbolt/ scroll down 1/3 of the way actually has my e-mail. Good heavens Andrew, my ego wants to thank you for the biggest boost it's had in years. You think I've got so much influence to sway an opinion poll? Me, a little ol' tranny with no money at all - compared to your mates at Saltshakers, Christian Lobby, Families Association and Gloria Jeans who get money from collection plates and siphoning proceeds off cups of coffee without being transparent in their disclosure?

Now I'm soooooo sure all of the above nice ethical Christian organisations would never ever ever ask their members including the alleged 3000 members (i.e. e-mail addresses) of Saltshakers to vote in opinion polls, would they? But today, maybe someone's requested taking the counter-intuitive approach and told them not to vote to back up your nice blog sub-heading of "Ballot rigged." No, such ethics would never allow such a thing...

However, I can only say Andrew, it's great to see you've broadened yourself and adopted a secular non-Christian specific belief - from "The Secret." Keep putting it out there and it will happen. What do I mean? You and others of your ilk kept saying how the (assume whinging fart voice here) "homosexual (sic) lobbyists are so well organised." Well, you kept talking about it - and it's happened. On lists totalling no more than a 1000 different individuals, we have enough friends to show we can make a difference. Fantastic. (Actually, it's 999, given one of your spies leaked my e-mail to you, but who's counting?)

So thanks for the comic relief, Bolta. We need a laugh now and then in this grim ol' world...and I think it is so generous you gave the laughter and merriment to me today.

PS To Andrew's spy - check out http://www.bettybowers.com/homoagenda.html It has the whole homosexual agenda. Now you know, saves you being on a list or lists that you don't need to be on.

A campain about nothing

hi all

It's just hit me - this is the Seinfeld election...a campaign about nothing.

(7 days to go)

Hi there...er?

The current craze is the greeting (for example in a cafe or bar by the staff) "Hi GUYS, what can I get you?" etc

So I have a question. If addressing a group of people, regardless of the sex or gender identity of all of the group, as "guys" is considered "gender generic," let's start addressing a group of people, regardless of the sex or gender identity of all of the group as "hi GIRLS, what can I get you?"

Customer service

Being born in 1965, pretty much a baby boomer/Gen X cusp, I'm at least 1/2 part of Generation that thought customer service was the norm. You always received good service even from banks (and no, people weren't on hallucinegenics all the time in the 60's, it really happened).

Nowadays, there's a hardly any management that remembers "without customers, we don't have a job." (One corporate landlord of a former workplace of mine told my boss in a dispute, "if you want service, go down to McDonalds!")

But there are exceptions...

Most Sundays, I pop into the 7/11 near 3 CR before presenting "Out of the Pan" (alright subtle plug) to buy a newspaper, maybe a caffeinated soft drink (no plug there)...and also my Metcard for the next day.

Today, the person behind the counter, before I could ask, said "and do you need your Metcard?"

How many hundreds of people must that person serve, yet remembered I need a Metcard?

In the words of Jesse "The Body" Ventura, "I'm impressed...and I don't impress easy."

Rest assured she received a huge thank you.

beating depression

For most of my life, I've experienced depression to some degree. Some things have helped achieve breakthroughs in reducing it.

But the biggest one was about 4 weeks ago. Somehow, from out of nowhere, my little pea-brain said, "I accept depression as a part of myself." I haven't had any depression for a month.

Worming through the boredom - 28 days to go

Victorians may remember the last time they experienced a long election campaign. 1992, the ALP under Joan Kirner was suffering under the Pyramid Building Society Collapse, selling the State Bank and other issues. A long campaign was called in the vain hope it might somehow save the ALP.

It didn't work...and it won't work for John Howard now.

And how could John Howard disown the worm - has he disowned part of his own family? (Meoooooooooooooooooooooooow!)

38 days to go - countdown to Australia's future

Australia really has to make up it's mind this time.

Do we want to be true to our fair-minded nature or continue down a path of nastiness, divisiveness, spin-doctoring, head-kicking and diversion tactics?

Sure, in terms of the 2 largest parties (I refuse to call them "major") it's more Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee than ever.

So look below the surface. Analyse. Think carefully about what values really matter. Then weigh up your preferences carefully.

Dick Pratt - lots of fat

So multi-billionaire Dick Pratt and VISY get fined $36 million.

How much money did they gain via the cartel arrangement - why not make that the amount of the fine?

What about VISY's attempt to slug a $120 per annum admininistration fee on customers with one recycling bin? More abuse of market power...

Please, are any political parties committed to strengthening the Trade Practices Act to stop abuse of market power, whether monopoly or not?

the very samesame 25

Basically, if you're a Sydney gayboy (or a rich Melbourne one) , you're more likely to be considered an influential gay or lesbian in Australia http://www.samesame.com.au/25

OK, if this is an Australian survey, surely all queer Aussies would at least be able to recognise the names.

Strike 1: I only recognised 11 of 25 at 1st reading; one more became clearer on reading the bios. 200% agreement on Justice Michael Kirby, David Marr, Bob Brown and Anthony Venn-Brown, relaxed re 8 others. 13 who the faquawe? And where are Ian Roberts and Rodney Croome?

Strike 2: Why only gays and lesbians (sigh)? Where are the BTI? (samsex didn't even have the courtesy to answer my e-mail on this)

Strike 3 (and it's definitely inning over): Tom McFeely? A man who admits he "doesn't understand lesbian culture?" A man who gets an exemption from equal opportunity law on the gender identity attribute when trans and intersex people aren't even an issue? This MSG (misogynist separatist gayboy) from a bygone era doesn't even have a CLUE about the community. He can't run a venue without residents complaining. His community support is at best minuscule. Sorry, but I don't want someone like that "influencing" me.

Yes, very same same - and overall, survey very irrelevant.

With apologies to Carole King: the PM's referendum

So , having tried all the wedge and personal dirt tactics. John Howard's trying a new shock tactic - a gentler, kinder Liberal Party.

I would love it if the coalition went ahead with a referendum on recognising indigenous Australians on our Constitution. Goddess knows our long-suffering Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders deserve it.

But can I believe that would happen if the L/NP were re-elected? No, I can't. For nearly 12 years this has been a government that has shown no humanity about anything. All of a sudden it becomes caring and sharing? Sorry, don't trust you...

Nup. With apologies to Carole King, my ode to the PM's announcement:

And it's too late, baby, now it's too late.
Though you kinda did try to make it.
Something inside has died and you can't hide
And you just can't fake it

It's too late...

Anthony Venn-Brown - a gutsy legend

I finally had the pleasure of meeting Anthony and hearing him on his visit to Melbourne this week.

I find this person amazing and inspirational. That he can build bridges with what seems like a strictly anti-gay hierarchy (as distinct from the whole organisation and its membership) is almost unbelievable - especially to people like me who have seen some anti-gay people on their worst behaviour.

In the old days, the phrase was a "gentleman and a scholar", nowadays it's "he's a dude."* Both phrases apply to Anthony.

* (not intended to be gender specific)

http://www.anthonyvennbrown.com/

Consistent standards - race card a trick deal against Federal Coalition

A few years ago, gangs were targeting clothing stores taking away expensive running shoes and "track" type of gear.

Obviously, these people have failed to integrate into society and need to be deported...except,n hang on, they were Caucasians born in Australia.

I think the only people can't integrate into Australia are most of the Federal Coalition - they can't integrate into decent human values that deep down, most Australians share.

A Warne-ing

Shane Warne this week spoke out on the upcoming tour of Australia by India, saying niggle will make for good cricket. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22526270-5001505,00.html

Actually Shane, skillful batting, bowling and fielding will make for good cricket. Niggle, sledging and the rest belong in the rubbish bin.

Bradman and Woodfull must be turning in their graves.

Howard...very clever politican...regardless of who is destroyed

John Howard is a very clever politician when it comes to attacking opponents...including those in his own party.

Malcolm Turnbull is now effectively wedged (or is that "in the Gunn") over the Tasmanian pulp mill. More people are likely to campaign against him in his seat of Wentworth. It won't help him in retaining that seat.

Does John Howard lose sleep over that? One less leadership threat for him to worry about. After all, the PM has already neutralised Peter Costello over the "team job" issue. If the Liberal win and Howard retains Bennelong, he'll find a way to weasel out of any succession plan deal. If the Liberals win but Howard loses Bennelong, well not John's problem.

But if the Liberals lose (regardless of Bennelong) Howard can then say it was Costello's bad image that brought us down and shift the blame off himself - thereby taking Pete down with him.

Brendan Nelson, watch your back. John Howard is a very politician for sure…and he’ll exercise that cleverness wherever his egoic insecurities need him to.

The tragic waste of footballers

First things first. Sympathies and condolences to the family, colleagues and friends of Chris Mainwaring. A terrible loss at a relatively young age.

How many of us, especially us poor wageslaves dream of making lots of money early in life and being able to retire by 40, forever running off to live on a beach while some sexy person rubs suntan cream into our back? Hands going up everywhere?

AFL footballers (and those of other codes, possibly other sports) have the chance to do just this. They have a unique skill, they earn their money honestly. Yet it seems time after time we hear of waste through substances, sex scandals and all the rest.

So how much effort is put into financial management, savings plans and all the rest? Surely it's time the clubs, the players' managers and the codes offered financial management skills as part of everything else? Maybe then the money wouldn't be wasted on unhealthy things?

And maybe we won't lose someone so early again.

Geelong - a victory for commonsense leadership

In an age of short-term instant gratification and greed, the Geelong AFL Grand Final victory is a huge win for patience, persistance and perserverence. The Cats stuck with Bomber Thompson for 7 seasons without a flag. Most clubs (most organisations) would have booted him after 3 years or so. But Geelong showed those one of those qualities sadly lacking in today's life: loyalty, and after 8 years the benefits burst through. Geelong supporters:party hard (and safely) - you deserve it 200%! Richmond - take note on how to do it - please!

Welcome

Hi there Universe


Welcome to the world of Sally.


What sort of topics could be posted here?


Gender identity stuff, sex and gender, queer stuff, especially as realting to (Melbourne Australia), Federal and Victorian politics, issues around psychological health, stand-up comedy and WWE (we could debate the differences and similarities between the last two)...or whatever's there to communicate about. It could be serious and it could be humourous. It could be whatever happens on the day. It could be personal or a world issue...or it just could be...


Cheeyars, blessings and magic

check out in the meantime
http://www.laughagenda.com.au/
http://www.transgendervictoria.com/
http://www.3cr.org.au/