The good ol' GLBTI community (?)

A couple of prompts to write about this: debates in the letter pages of MCV and recent goings on in the trans community.

The MCV debate is the hoary old chestnut about whether trans and intersex should be "part of 'our' community" ("our" being spoken, as usual, by a gay man).

Well Mr MSG, (misogynist separatist gayboy) you don't own the community - it's not "yours." Doesn't this sound like racists who say "we don't want these Italians (1955) Asians (1985), Muslims (2005) in OUR country?" Fear of difference in every case. But one difference: gays experience prejudice too. Isn't giving it out a bit hypocritical?

That said, we can't and shouldn't agree or defend each other simply because we are GLBTI (or one of the G,L , B etc). My approach is we ask to be treated on our merits, no differently, not better, not worse due to our sexual orientation, gender identity or intersex status.

That leads into recent goings on in the trans community. Looking at people's behaviour on its merits, when trans people bully, threaten, intimidate or mistreat other trans people, we tell them they are out of order. We don't unite to cover up wrongdoing.

This sort of behaviour occurred 3 weeks ago towards me and another trans person. I'm aware of it happening from the same person to another in the form of threats of violence over a simple difference of opinion. I have second hand information it's happened to at least ten other people, maybe twenty.

As the old maid/old Muppet in the Box of Victoria's trans community who has been around for 12-13 years, I've seen this time and again. People who stand for election in existing groups, but generally form their own groups because they have to run it their way, know it all better than everyone else and their ego says "it's my way or the highway." They bully, steamroll and cajole. They have more in common with Tony Abbott or Gunns timber than Mother Teresa. There's no "I want to care for the community," rather it's "I know how to do it better." They can't with work with other people.

I normally don't play amateur psychoanalyst, but having seen 6 examples of this, I can see a pattern. Generally, these people come out later in life. Have they spent so much time in stealth and secrecy that they can't learn to trust and be open with anyone? And, controversial as it might be, all are MTF. The phrase "residual male programming" comes to mind.

The good thing is, in the end they all disappear or end up running mini-dictatorships disguised as social/support groups. They have no influence because people see through their head-kicking ways and leave them alone (sounds like John Howard???). So we go through this over and again. What are the answers? Succession planning could be one - any others?

Earlier this year, when I (and many others) experienced bullying in a workplace. a friend said something very apt.

"The real measure of any organisation is how it treats its own people. The grand aims it has are irrelevant."

Well, this applies to the trans community too. It matters not what big ideas you have that will supposedly help trans people. Helping trans people starts NOW with how you treat them on a day-to-day basis in everyday interactions.

Maybe that's a message for this time of year too.