Residual Male Programming

Alright, deliberately provocative, generalized and politically incorrect title. However, I’ve seen too many people afflicted by RMP to not comment on it.

RMP refers to trans* people, particularly trans* women who continue to behave in angry, aggressive, selfish ways long after they have resolved their internal sex-and-gender conflict. The term was coined, half-jokingly, half-seriously by a friend of mine some years ago and seems to have stuck in my head.

Seriously, of course, anger isn’t necessarily a problem in itself. It is a human emotion and we are all human. Nor, of course is it “wrong” for any person to be angry, regardless of the person’s sex, gender identity or whether they are trans or cis. It’s what happens with that anger that’s the issue.

Now, some would say “if they someone wants to be angry, isn’t that their problem?” Well, yes and no. It’s sad to see it, but you cannot control other people’s lives. Still anger (and other negative emotions) stored in the body become health issues such as tumors, cancer and polyps. And even putting health aside, you get back what you give out…not good.

But what happens when such people start running social and support groups and are in a position to influence others? It can be dangerous and unhealthy for those negatively impacted, especially those just “coming out” who are often at a very vulnerable and emotional stage of their lives.

It’s understandable that the first part of a trans person’s life is painful and frustrating. For those who, due to society’s expectations, live as male in that first half of their life, there can be difficulty expressing emotions. Those designated as men weren’t allowed to express emotions…with one exception…anger.

But what’s the reason for continuing to express it when you’ve resolved the gender issues? No reason. But it seems some people seem to do stay angry on autopilot.

A person can reprogram their autopilot. Deal with the past. Understand and acknowledge it’s painful. Hit pillows, do forgiveness rituals, go to counseling, try hypnotherapy. Whatever works for you. But there’s really no reason to be angry any more. There’s enough negative karma in the world already; avoid adding to it if you can.

Better still, put something peaceful out there instead.

Veruca Salt Syndrome

Remember Veruca Salt? No, not the band, but the character in the film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” She’s famous for uttering the line (in a whining selfish voice) “I want it now” - thankfully before disappearing down the bad egg chute.

Veruca Salt syndrome seems to be afflicting society more and more nowadays. With radio, telephones, television, direct satellite transmission, internet, facebook, SMS and twitter the idea an instant response is compulsory spirals out of control. Don’t answer a text within 5 minutes and people call saying “are you ok?” Pedestrians deliberately cross the road against the lights because they won’t wait.

This is having its effect on life for trans* folk too. The journey of watching my body change to match my gender identity was exciting. I enjoyed that journey. I was happy to make sure that physically and psychologically I went through proper medical processes. Any pharmaceutical (for that matter many over-the-counter products) can have side effects and I wanted to be sure all was ok. This seems logical, sensible, in my interests and in the interests of the health professionals treating me.

But some people don’t think so. They think they have a right to everything without proper checks. They double or triple dose running the risk of blood clots. They even give some of their own hormone medications to others which is not only dangerous and stupid, but a criminal offence for both the supplier and recipient.

The Universe will work at the pace it needs to work. It happens for a reason. It’s time as society we slowed down and took a deep breath. Maybe some of the violence, aggro and stress will diminish. And maybe trans people will be better off too.

http://tinyurl.com/ycw64mj refers to the law in Victoria, Australia. Check your state or territory for relevant laws.