Residual Male Programming

Alright, deliberately provocative, generalized and politically incorrect title. However, I’ve seen too many people afflicted by RMP to not comment on it.

RMP refers to trans* people, particularly trans* women who continue to behave in angry, aggressive, selfish ways long after they have resolved their internal sex-and-gender conflict. The term was coined, half-jokingly, half-seriously by a friend of mine some years ago and seems to have stuck in my head.

Seriously, of course, anger isn’t necessarily a problem in itself. It is a human emotion and we are all human. Nor, of course is it “wrong” for any person to be angry, regardless of the person’s sex, gender identity or whether they are trans or cis. It’s what happens with that anger that’s the issue.

Now, some would say “if they someone wants to be angry, isn’t that their problem?” Well, yes and no. It’s sad to see it, but you cannot control other people’s lives. Still anger (and other negative emotions) stored in the body become health issues such as tumors, cancer and polyps. And even putting health aside, you get back what you give out…not good.

But what happens when such people start running social and support groups and are in a position to influence others? It can be dangerous and unhealthy for those negatively impacted, especially those just “coming out” who are often at a very vulnerable and emotional stage of their lives.

It’s understandable that the first part of a trans person’s life is painful and frustrating. For those who, due to society’s expectations, live as male in that first half of their life, there can be difficulty expressing emotions. Those designated as men weren’t allowed to express emotions…with one exception…anger.

But what’s the reason for continuing to express it when you’ve resolved the gender issues? No reason. But it seems some people seem to do stay angry on autopilot.

A person can reprogram their autopilot. Deal with the past. Understand and acknowledge it’s painful. Hit pillows, do forgiveness rituals, go to counseling, try hypnotherapy. Whatever works for you. But there’s really no reason to be angry any more. There’s enough negative karma in the world already; avoid adding to it if you can.

Better still, put something peaceful out there instead.