seeress

Residual Male Programming

2009-11-11T20:07:00.000-08:00

Alright, deliberately provocative, generalized and politically incorrect title. However, I’ve seen too many people afflicted by RMP to not comment on it.

RMP refers to trans* people, particularly trans* women who continue to behave in angry, aggressive, selfish ways long after they have resolved their internal sex-and-gender conflict. The term was coined, half-jokingly, half-seriously by a friend of mine some years ago and seems to have stuck in my head.

Seriously, of course, anger isn’t necessarily a problem in itself. It is a human emotion and we are all human. Nor, of course is it “wrong” for any person to be angry, regardless of the person’s sex, gender identity or whether they are trans or cis. It’s what happens with that anger that’s the issue.

Now, some would say “if they someone wants to be angry, isn’t that their problem?” Well, yes and no. It’s sad to see it, but you cannot control other people’s lives. Still anger (and other negative emotions) stored in the body become health issues such as tumors, cancer and polyps. And even putting health aside, you get back what you give out…not good.

But what happens when such people start running social and support groups and are in a position to influence others? It can be dangerous and unhealthy for those negatively impacted, especially those just “coming out” who are often at a very vulnerable and emotional stage of their lives.

It’s understandable that the first part of a trans person’s life is painful and frustrating. For those who, due to society’s expectations, live as male in that first half of their life, there can be difficulty expressing emotions. Those designated as men weren’t allowed to express emotions…with one exception…anger.

But what’s the reason for continuing to express it when you’ve resolved the gender issues? No reason. But it seems some people seem to do stay angry on autopilot.

A person can reprogram their autopilot. Deal with the past. Understand and acknowledge it’s painful. Hit pillows, do forgiveness rituals, go to counseling, try hypnotherapy. Whatever works for you. But there’s really no reason to be angry any more. There’s enough negative karma in the world already; avoid adding to it if you can.

Better still, put something peaceful out there instead.

Veruca Salt Syndrome

2009-11-11T19:41:00.000-08:00

Remember Veruca Salt? No, not the band, but the character in the film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” She’s famous for uttering the line (in a whining selfish voice) “I want it now” - thankfully before disappearing down the bad egg chute.

Veruca Salt syndrome seems to be afflicting society more and more nowadays. With radio, telephones, television, direct satellite transmission, internet, facebook, SMS and twitter the idea an instant response is compulsory spirals out of control. Don’t answer a text within 5 minutes and people call saying “are you ok?” Pedestrians deliberately cross the road against the lights because they won’t wait.

This is having its effect on life for trans* folk too. The journey of watching my body change to match my gender identity was exciting. I enjoyed that journey. I was happy to make sure that physically and psychologically I went through proper medical processes. Any pharmaceutical (for that matter many over-the-counter products) can have side effects and I wanted to be sure all was ok. This seems logical, sensible, in my interests and in the interests of the health professionals treating me.

But some people don’t think so. They think they have a right to everything without proper checks. They double or triple dose running the risk of blood clots. They even give some of their own hormone medications to others which is not only dangerous and stupid, but a criminal offence for both the supplier and recipient.

The Universe will work at the pace it needs to work. It happens for a reason. It’s time as society we slowed down and took a deep breath. Maybe some of the violence, aggro and stress will diminish. And maybe trans people will be better off too.

http://tinyurl.com/ycw64mj refers to the law in Victoria, Australia. Check your state or territory for relevant laws.

Book Review: Catalyst - Stories of Awakening

2009-11-05T02:27:00.000-08:00

“Catalyst: Stories of Awakening” is the first book by Kyra-Ly (KL) Joy. Based on her observations of the Melbourne BDSM/kink scene, it is a series of stories that are largely self-contained yet simultaneously are part of a developing holistic scene that moves to a dramatic and moving climax. As her first book it shows a very sound foundation as a writer that will clearly see more (an excerpt from her second offering is included as a teaser).

The characters in the stories develop and grow, always showing different aspects to their multi-dimensional personalities. No-one is 100% dom(me) or sub, either in kink or life in general and while this is obvious for someone like Kate aka Lady Morghana, it is subtly there for all the main players.

The scenes cover a range of BDSM from the more obvious spanking through to quieter scenarios and are entertaining as well as being educational but not preachy. They also cover all sexual orientations without batting an eyelid. The genuine affection KL has for the people of the scene glistens from opening to closing page via the characters portrayed

One scene stands out as particularly beautiful. So as not to spoil your appetite, I’ll just say it is one towards the end of the book following a very powerful and unexpectedly climactic moment. It is a moving endorsement of the true beauty of the BDSM/kink scene that happily nukes the inaccurate perceptions held by many outside it. The result is a demonstration of high level of self-awareness/personal development/emotional intelligence needed to be a true BDSM player.

Even those on the fringes of the scene will recognize some Melbourne figures and venues. The curious, beginners, intermediate and advanced alike will find enjoyment in Catalyst. Given the mention of trams the tourism commission should also recognize Melbourne. Melbourne is, after all, a city that celebrates diversity so let’s bring in the tourist kinksters!

And filmmakers take note. The book would work well with only little adoption required to make the transformation onto the screen. In the meantime, buy Catalyst, read...and enjoy.

A fair cop

2009-09-13T01:19:00.000-07:00

Have to send this around after being involved again in this today (3/9)...

Cheeyars

Sally

On Thursday 6 August, I had the exciting opportunity to be involved in a new addition to training for police recruits. Along with Greg Adkins of the Anti-Violence Project, Jamie Gardiner, people from the indigenous community, a hard-of-hearing person, and people originally from Chile, Burma, Sudan and the Congo we took part in the second cultural diversity training exercise.

The program involves the 50 or so recruits at the academy being divided into groups of 6 or 8 and each community representative spending about10 minutes with each group, then rotating around (no, it’s not speed dating!). Seriously, the onus was on the recruits to take the initiative and ask questions about our experience, as well as asking re issues that may affect their duties e.g. the correct pronouns to use, what happens when a transgender person unfortunately ends up in custody. More a “living library book” type approach than speed dating…

My personal highlight was when I mentioned a favourite queer DVD, only to have one participant pipe up with “that’s my favourite too!” We agreed on our 2nd favourite too! Dare I say a case of the police “recruiting” queers?

I can understand the hurt created by police discrimination of the past (I’ve copped some myself) and appreciate it might not be easy for some to let it go. However, I’m now firmly convinced that if individual police might be homophobic in their private lives, they won’t have the opportunity to be that way in the job, as there has been an overwhelming turnaround in the culture of Victoria Police.

Recruits gave feedback that this was the highlight of their training. All participants want to take the idea further with something like an informal barbeque where we could connect further – we’ll make it happen!

Mention must be made of people like Jill Wood and Dave Truman who stood up in darker times; Melinda Edwards, Scott Davis and the GLLO team; former Chief Commissioner Christine Nixon who led the first official VicPol contingent in the 2002 Pride March and Simon Overland for his support of IDAHO in May this year. Apologies if I've missed anyone.

It’s 40 years since Stonewall when police systemically harassed queers and 40 years since Woodstock . The times definitely are a’changin’ in Victoria.

Wash your pink jocks

2008-09-03T22:01:00.000-07:00

What is it in the GLBTI community re the constant nuisance that are “pink shock-jocks?” This World Wrestling Entertainment style of media i.e. pre-fabricated non-genuine emotion and shock value always seems to rear its ugly head. It’s well known in the wider community, e.g. Alan Jones, Ray Hadley, Steve Price and Derryn Hinch. In the GLBTI community it usually takes the form of anyone who doesn’t fit gay male stereotypes. And interestingly, all the community media examples I can think of ultimately self-identify as gay male.

In the past we’ve seen Lance Spurr (real name Adam Carr) and Kaye Sera (Daren Pope), the latter noted for the infamous 2004 “heel turn” (to keep the WWE analogy going) which was justified by “well, it won me a Rainbow Award.” Interestingly, both these occurred under the editorship of Bill Calder. More recently it’s been JOY’s Tim Newton and Tim Wilson, the latter a well-known Liberal party hack and employee of the Institute of Public Affairs, the well-known right-wing think tank. (Hang on, right-wing think-tank is an oxymoron, but I digress…)

One could possibly rationalize this approach for commercial media. Commercial media need to make profits, if this style brings in the masses that lead to ratings that lead to advertising dollars, so it’s justifiable…possibly. But can GLBTI community media, with its more qualitative aims follow such a line? Respected pink media types, particularly Doug Pollard, think so. But there’s a difference.

The GLBTI and allied community are overall better educated than others – in 2 ways. Sure, there is more formal education re tertiary degrees etc. More importantly, our life experience enables us to see through many falsehoods and cover-ups more often than your average punter. So we are not going to be sucker-punched by pink jocks. More likely, we’ll switch channels because we don’t want to have our intelligence insulted. So this style of media is clearly detrimental re achieving aims, financial or qualitative.

Columnist Cheeky Biscuit wrote a few years back that all the shock-jocks, pink or otherwise were all right wing. Would a left-wing shocker work? I don’t think it’s any different…it’s still lowest common denominator stuff.

So my take is if you can’t present community media without genuine passion, then don’t do it at all. There are enough issues in this community that can move the heart and sway the emotions- positively – without having to resort to cheap and lazy approaches. Unless you’re happy to be known as cheap, lazy...and fake.

back on deck

2008-08-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long between posts - might write as to why at some point. Stuff coming soon.

a bit of gender fun

2008-05-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hi all

A bit of fun that happened at the recent "Play Like a Girl" jam session

Yours truly has been mucking around playing drums lately and this is a great way to do it every month.

Anyway, after I'd had a bash, a guy comes up to me and says "I've always wanted to play drums, can I borrow your skirt?"

Love it.

check out http://www.myspace.com/iplaylikeagirl

Diary of a Confest Virgin

2008-04-20T01:27:00.000-07:00

“We’ve both had a stressful start to the year, so we’re going to Confest to chill out.”Sounded like my long time friend Mandy had a good idea re getting away over Easter, but what we doing?

According to http://www.dte.org.au/NextFest.html ConFest was started as an “alternative living' festival in the 1970's by Jim Cairns (then Deputy Prime Minister) and his assistant Junie Morosi and many others.” It’s camping, it’s in the bush and it’s largely primitive, although there was a marketplace selling (amongst other stuff) cooked food and lattes for those needing their morning fix.

Being a first timer was a bit overwhelming. However the spirit of Confest is that anyone can run a workshop/gathering on anything (regardless of expertise). 2 gay guys had the sensible idea of holding a queer “meet and greet” on Friday morning, which for a first time attendee was very helpful in feeling more settled.

Saturday was a much noisier with almost 15 hours of tribal drumming which sent me a bit spare. Even the quiet area (also drug and alcohol free) wasn’t completely quiet. To lift myself on Sunday, I decided to put on 2 workshops myself. Old habits die hard and one was “Transgender 101.” Happily no-one turned up. Happily - yes: maybe that no-one was interested meant that no-one there gave a damn about transgender. Hallelujah.

A lovely Hindu gay guy from the Sunshine Coast facilitated a workshop re gay/queer spirituality, specifically is there a queer spirituality or can we be part of mainstream spirituality – an article in itself.

At Confest, clothing is optional re both style and amount. i.e. people can walk around nude if desired and guys wear dresses. In a “gently challenging” way,seeing the nudity was helpful for me. As a transsexual this brought to the surface the internalised transphobia I’ve swallowed re feeling negative about my body and that I need to let that transphobia go. Something to work on…

Overall queerdom was a non-issue; making Confest a sort of queertopia. One gay guy said he’d received a comment there were “no queers here,” (pretty odd given the signs locating the queer village), but that was it.

Undaunted by the nil response to the trans workshop, I tried again and ran a workshop on the “Highly Sensitive Person.” Being relatively unprepared moved me out of my comfort zone, but the results were worth it. 9 other people turned up, only one of whom who knew of the material. The other 8 were “just curious.” However, on finding out that there were other people like themselves and knowing about relevant resources, they walked away happier and feeling less isolated… the highlight of my weekend.

Which is what Confest is about. Giving. Respect for each other. Which begs a question. If it’s so easy for Confest to be respectful of humanity without a whole lot of rules, how come it’s so hard for society to do it?

PS This article was submitted to a local pink newspaper for possible publication: no response, so blogreaders, you get the exclusive!

Customer service winner

2008-03-28T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hi all

Now this makes shopping really fun...and I've left the details on because they deserve a plug

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with
sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure
it was in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Friday, March 28th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sigh...
--
Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby
the little store with the best new independent music
http://cdbaby.com cdbaby@cdbaby.com (503)595-3000

Drugs (legal ones)

2008-03-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've quit both coffee and alcohol. 3 drinks in the last 5 weeks; no coffee for 40 days (and nights) ; no, we're not talking about Lent here!

I find coffee, even 1 decaf per day overly stimulating. I find alcohol to be a depressant that makes me go to sleep. So why was I paying people for this combination of "legal uppers and Alexanders (downers)?" what was the nutritional value in either?

What's pissed me off re the alcohol are the people who say "you don't drink because you have a control issue. You're afraid if you drink too much you won't be in control." Having given my reason, I find their comments rude and insulting. We all have different metabolisms, we're all different.

The third drug is called anti-depressants (ADs). First of all, don't do anything re this without consulting your health professional. But I believe in the idea that ADs are over-prescribed:
1. They are most likely over-advertised to health professionals(as proposed by Healthy Skepticism)
2. They are prescribed too quickly by docs and psychs who are too busy/unable to listen.
3. People are left on them for too long without counselling on what is causing the alleged need for the AD.
4. The difficulty in getting off them is well documented.

I think solutions lie in:
1, Docs and psychs always need to outline an initial counselling program at the same time as prescribing ADs.
2. There needs to be constant checking in re the need for continuing use.
3. There needs to be allowance by docs, psychs and employers to ensure sick leave and medical certificates are available for people to have time to come off ADs.
4. People need to be allowed to have someone attend appointments to advocate for them without question.

Here's to health (that's a toast with a glass of filtered water!)

Ms Manners

2008-03-03T13:24:00.000-08:00

Being an old-fashioned gal, I'm into manners.

One thing at the gig that annoyed me on Saturday was people talking through the gig. If you go and see music, stand-up or similar, shut up! Talk before, during the interval or after.

My arts colleague from my JOY days tells the story of a woman in the second row of the audience at a musical who talk a call on her mobile in the middle of a shoqw. Even in spite of the lead beaking out of character saying " do you want us to stop while you take the call" the woman went on talking.

Honestly...

Childhood innocence

2008-03-03T13:16:00.000-08:00

i've been working recently with the ideas promoted by "The Magician's Way" following my doing the weekend course last year.

One component of that work is the idea of childhood innocence. Last Saturday I got an image of it.

My dear dear dear friend Kimba performed her first gig (jazz/swing music) since becoming a mum last September. Being a truly good mum she wants to give her ensure her son has love/validation up to 18 months (another component of Mag Way).

So half of her gig was with her son piggybacking (attached in a harness/backpack like arrangement) her. i reckon 95% of 6-month-olds would have been screaming their heads off. Not Dante. Wide-eyed and loving it. Innocent. Happy. Beautiful. The camera phone pix are average but the memory is and mental image are 200%.

Made Kate Langbroek breastfeeding her baby on "The Panel" look meaningless...

great post by another blogger

2008-03-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

http://hungryadam.blogspot.com/2008/03/kevins-first-100-days.html?source=cmailer

Go Adam

one more TTH

2008-02-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

You show me your heart and I'll show you mine

I'm not gettin' hurt anymore that's a promise I made me for sometime ago
I've never ran into things hard and unbending when I was just traveling slow
If it's down to this and I'm taking my chances I've just got one offer in mind
Let's see a teardrop whatever else you got
You show me your heart and I'll show you mine
You show me your heart and I'll show you mine

I'm weak and I'm uncertain in fact I'm still hurtin'
And hurt put on hurt just won't heal
So make me a promise you'll laugh when I laugh and you'll cry when I cry it's a deal
I'm strong and I'm able but weak and unstable when somebody steps on my mind
You have to be willin' the free milk I'm spillin'
You show me your heart and I'll show you mine
You show me your heart and I'll show you mine

There was a time I'd be willin' to risk just the day of my life on the nights
But if you've been away say at four in the morning the memories crawlin' by your side
If you want to take it or if you can just make it a one sided offer that's fine
I just got one proposition to make you you show me your heart and I'll show you mine
You show me your heart and I'll show you mine

(SNAP) Sensitive New age Person

2008-02-24T18:29:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about this lot lately. How our patriarchial society derides sensitivity in any form.

When I heard about this site http://www.hsperson.com/ and looked it up (18 months ago) I finally found some affirmation and support for a part of me. Brilliant. There is also now an Aus/NZ group/list getting underway.

One word of caution: it's useful to understand and know yourself, but don't trap yourself in a label and stay there. This can happen, hypothetical examples being I'm bipolar, I'm transgender, etc. Know it, absorb it, value it.

Tom T Hall lyrics

2008-02-24T18:15:00.000-08:00

These describe where I'm at generally (although it could be re playing music too).

TTH is a legendary songwriter and I post these lyrics in awe and respect of him.

Soldier of Fortune
(Gary Sefton)
http://www.lyricmania.com/tom+t++hall-soldier+of+fortune-lyric.html
Valentine Music

I'll follow my dreams like a soldier of fortune
I'd rather chase rainbows than stay here and grow old and never know
How high I could fly if I reach for the sky
It's my turn to try so I'll take my best hold.

I've done my time in the beer and wine mines
Tryin' to climb with my own kind of rhymes it ain't easy
I've had my doubts what they're mostly about
Whether I should reach out to the crowd to just try to please me.

Chasin' the brass ring and bendin' guitar strings
Are the things I enjoy most of all
We can just call this a mission of mercy
But the soldier of fortune should fall.

(I'll follow my dreams)

I already know it's a rough row to hoe
But I can't let go I've been almost so close a few times
My sights are all set it's my chance to get
Somethin' better than whatever it is that I'm leavin' behind.

Chasin' the brass ring and bendin' guitar strings
Are the things I enjoy most of all
We can just call this a mission of mercy
But the soldier of fortune should fall.

I'll follow my dreams

I already know it's a rough row to hoe
But I can't let go I've been almost so close a few times
My sights are all set it's my chance to get
Somethin' better than whatever it is that I'm leavin' behind.

I'll follow my dreams like a soldier of fortune...

People as Crazy as me
http://www.lyricstime.com/tom-t-hall-people-as-crazy-as-me-lyrics.html
Valentine Music

I lie on back and I look at the ceiling
My body's caressed by a cool summer breeze
I won't have no friends and I won't have no sweethearts
Unless they're as crazy as me

I might have been rich and I might have been famous
But I wouldn't follow the dreams
It went up a mountain and I stayed in the valley
With people as crazy as me
(He won't have no friends and he won't have no sweetheartsUnless they're as crazy as him)

[ guitar ]
You know nothing can get you if you ain't got nothing
And you ain't got hardly nobody to please
I've got friends a plenty they're better than enemies
But they're all as crazy as me

I might have been rich...

When they write it all down in the Big Book in heaven
They'll give us a cabin out under the trees
I'll lie on my back and stare at the ceiling
With people as crazy as me

I might have been rich...

follow up last post

2008-02-22T18:33:00.001-08:00

Thanks to the people who got in touch with me after the previous post. Your kind words are appreciated.

Things are more settled and on the improve.

Cheeyars

Sally

a while between drinks - personal venting time

2008-02-15T05:46:00.000-08:00

Hi all

Well, nearly 6 weeks since my last post. Haven't really felt like writing anything, here's why.

Basically, from around early December, at first without realising it, I had been thrown off centre by an abusive and aggressive looney toon in the trans community. It seems I have lots of company: there could be as many of 20 people who have been damaged by this person, one extremely damaged. It's a fcuking tragedy that with fundy religious types, lesbian separatist femmonazis and MSGs to deal with we end up being damaged by our own. - greater sense of betrayal, I guess.

Anyway, 2 days after this happened I had my phone and purse stolen out of my handbag at a cafe. Seems there's a lot of this around BTW: one of the bi-vic gang had this happen to her and my housemate her purse and keys stolen in the same week as me. Fcuking drug barons who leave people dependant and destitute on drugs, but I digress.

The looney toon spewed more vomit on me 2 days after this. Finally, I took on a job that was way more complex than it appeared. When, because the internet banking hasn't been arranged and you have to arrange cash pays in envelopes a la the 1960s to ensure people have their Xmas pays 2 working days before Xmas, it takes a lot of effort. And Xmas seemed to be more manic and feral than usual.

Anyway, I realised I was off track about a week into January and approached a couple of friends and health professionals. One of the latter was very helpful (uprooted some deep shit) and it seemed all was well, life could resume.

Unfortunately, only 3 hours later I heard about the tragic suicide of Zoe Belle, trans and generally community contributor extraordinaire. Like the rest of the trans and other communities, I was totally devastated. With the funeral happening 9 days later, it took a long time before I was able to grieve and let this go.

So basically, I didn't really get a mental and emotional holiday. Midsumma was an emotional roller coaster as so much of it was Zoe's work. But I managed to get some time out and over the weekend of Friday 8th-10th of Feb I was able to chill, especially after the fab Rock Strip on Friday 8th. Once again, THE event of Midsumma. 2 nights pretty much sold out (and not one iota of publicity on JOY (couldn't interrupt the Kylie megamixes, could we now) or in the pink press. 3 CR to the rescue - hoo-rah (alright I'm biased).

So by Sunday night I was feeling great - energetic, inner peace back, had cleared all the to-to list that had piled up over the last month. Then what?

My housemate announces she (and the pets) want to move out in 6 months with her partner. Previously, she was going to travel with the partner. Now she says "we'll get someone corporate to move in." (She co-owns where I live with a friend).

So, the one anchor I had, a stable happy home has just been cast adrift and now it's just a place to live. So my career's fucked, my finances are fucked, no relationship and wondering if there'll ever be one, the community role means little, my creativity is at an all time low and now this. Fucking fantastic.

Yes, I'm bitter, angry, afraid and disillusioned right now. I'm wondering what I'm living for with no clear goals. I'm sick of being a walking psychological experiment and not having any life.

I'm trying with every ounce of strength to affirm that life will get better. I'm using every idea I know (and learning others) to keep going and find strength and faith (in the general sense of the word, no religion crap here thanks). I'm trying to take responsibility for myself and my decisions and what I've created. I'm trying to change patterns in myself. I'm clinging to the hope that with the decks relatively clear that I'm creating the space for something amazing. That takes virtually all of my strength every day. It takes ages to start the day. I hate mornings, and the stress, tears and anger that come up when I wake up. It would be nice to leap out of bed in the morning and believe life had some purpose other than going to work as an accountant and cleaning up everyone else's crap.

Hope is all there is.

Caught, clean bowled and hit wicket

2008-01-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

Well, cricket's in a right old hissy fit, what?

1st of all, obviously I condemn racism along with any form of prejudice. And if someone can prove it's happened in this case, I'll condemn it in this case.

That's a big if. No-one has provided any evidence that monkey is a racist taunt. So it's general sledging.

So where did sledging start? With "real men don't eat quiche" types such as Ian Chappell, Rod Marsh and Jeff Thomson in the 70s (and in a way, tennis players like McEnroe and Connors). Has anyone tried to turn sledging back, including Steve "Mr Nice Guy" Waugh? No.

So other sides, being human, do it to. What do the spoilt brat bullies of world cricket, the Aussies do? Run to mummy and get someone suspended (pending appeal).

If the Aussies are such skilled cricketers why do they need to sledge and do the pressure appeals? Or maybe they aren't so skilled and use cheap shots to cover that up? So let's throw out a challenge to the Aussies: play in Perth without sledging and see if you can win.

Re the umpiring, well, it's the imbalanced number of decisions for one test that's got the Indians upset. 5 0r 6 big ones to virtually zip in a close test; upset is understandable. But a challenge for the Indians - finish the tour, go to Perth, thump the Aussies and end the streak.

What really gets me was one knucklehead who wrote to a paper saying players shouldn't "walk" and that to do so was putting yourself ahead of the team. What happened to ethics, for heaven's sake? Maybe we're so used to head-kicking skin-doctoring and occasionally crooked politicians and business types that people think their behaviour is the norm and being ethical is "weird?" Maybe quality examples of leadership would help overcome all this.

All I can say is Bradman must be turning triple somersaults in his grave.

The good ol' GLBTI community (?)

2007-12-23T16:47:00.000-08:00

A couple of prompts to write about this: debates in the letter pages of MCV and recent goings on in the trans community.

The MCV debate is the hoary old chestnut about whether trans and intersex should be "part of 'our' community" ("our" being spoken, as usual, by a gay man).

Well Mr MSG, (misogynist separatist gayboy) you don't own the community - it's not "yours." Doesn't this sound like racists who say "we don't want these Italians (1955) Asians (1985), Muslims (2005) in OUR country?" Fear of difference in every case. But one difference: gays experience prejudice too. Isn't giving it out a bit hypocritical?

That said, we can't and shouldn't agree or defend each other simply because we are GLBTI (or one of the G,L , B etc). My approach is we ask to be treated on our merits, no differently, not better, not worse due to our sexual orientation, gender identity or intersex status.

That leads into recent goings on in the trans community. Looking at people's behaviour on its merits, when trans people bully, threaten, intimidate or mistreat other trans people, we tell them they are out of order. We don't unite to cover up wrongdoing.

This sort of behaviour occurred 3 weeks ago towards me and another trans person. I'm aware of it happening from the same person to another in the form of threats of violence over a simple difference of opinion. I have second hand information it's happened to at least ten other people, maybe twenty.

As the old maid/old Muppet in the Box of Victoria's trans community who has been around for 12-13 years, I've seen this time and again. People who stand for election in existing groups, but generally form their own groups because they have to run it their way, know it all better than everyone else and their ego says "it's my way or the highway." They bully, steamroll and cajole. They have more in common with Tony Abbott or Gunns timber than Mother Teresa. There's no "I want to care for the community," rather it's "I know how to do it better." They can't with work with other people.

I normally don't play amateur psychoanalyst, but having seen 6 examples of this, I can see a pattern. Generally, these people come out later in life. Have they spent so much time in stealth and secrecy that they can't learn to trust and be open with anyone? And, controversial as it might be, all are MTF. The phrase "residual male programming" comes to mind.

The good thing is, in the end they all disappear or end up running mini-dictatorships disguised as social/support groups. They have no influence because people see through their head-kicking ways and leave them alone (sounds like John Howard???). So we go through this over and again. What are the answers? Succession planning could be one - any others?

Earlier this year, when I (and many others) experienced bullying in a workplace. a friend said something very apt.

"The real measure of any organisation is how it treats its own people. The grand aims it has are irrelevant."

Well, this applies to the trans community too. It matters not what big ideas you have that will supposedly help trans people. Helping trans people starts NOW with how you treat them on a day-to-day basis in everyday interactions.

Maybe that's a message for this time of year too.

Bah frickin' humbug

2007-12-23T16:37:00.000-08:00

Well December 24...

Has anyone noticed an increased stress level around Xmas this year? More horns honking, suicidal pedestrians, more aggro? Is there any jollity out there at all?

As a nice Jewish Australian Princess I obviously don't celebrate Xmas. There is no emotional attachment to it. Normally, I can, well, inoculate myself from the insanity and forge on. Not this year.

I'm stressed, fed up and over it. I can't F--KING stand it. I'm tired and want some peace and quiet.

The arbitrary deadline that Xmas creates: gotta have the "empty in-tray" by 5 PM tonight; everyone wants it all complete NOW. WHY? My Dad has a phrase "hurry up and relax." It seems apt this year. And it's all bloody stupid.

But, having vented that, I wish everyone peace and happiness.

ROFL

2007-12-04T22:52:00.000-08:00

Hi all

That's "rolling on the floor laughing" for those not up with the trendy abbrievs.

So how come it's a day of such hilarity? To use the ol' stand-up maxim of "jokes with 3 parts":

1st, an article in Crikey about how progressive the Libs are because they've elected a Catholic as a leader. In the words of "The Rock," "well woopdy doo." Gee they've caught up to the 1950's. This means by 2050 they'll have openly GLBTI folk, single mothers, those of Muslim background, even ex-imprisoned people in the parliamentary party. So truly representative, what?

The second, also courtesy Crikey, (with respect, dark/dry humour) is about how those guardians of morality, Christian fundamentalists, have been caught out offering a home-schooling book that apparently promotes physical and emotional child abuse by approving methods of belting kids to make them G-d fearing. Yes, looking after our families for sure...

But the classic for me is Andrew Bolt. Today's Hun has an opinion poll re gay marriage equality. Yours truly naturally sent out notice of the poll to lists and yahoo groups of which I'm a member - my right to freedom of communication in a democracy.

Well http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/andrewbolt/ scroll down 1/3 of the way actually has my e-mail. Good heavens Andrew, my ego wants to thank you for the biggest boost it's had in years. You think I've got so much influence to sway an opinion poll? Me, a little ol' tranny with no money at all - compared to your mates at Saltshakers, Christian Lobby, Families Association and Gloria Jeans who get money from collection plates and siphoning proceeds off cups of coffee without being transparent in their disclosure?

Now I'm soooooo sure all of the above nice ethical Christian organisations would never ever ever ask their members including the alleged 3000 members (i.e. e-mail addresses) of Saltshakers to vote in opinion polls, would they? But today, maybe someone's requested taking the counter-intuitive approach and told them not to vote to back up your nice blog sub-heading of "Ballot rigged." No, such ethics would never allow such a thing...

However, I can only say Andrew, it's great to see you've broadened yourself and adopted a secular non-Christian specific belief - from "The Secret." Keep putting it out there and it will happen. What do I mean? You and others of your ilk kept saying how the (assume whinging fart voice here) "homosexual (sic) lobbyists are so well organised." Well, you kept talking about it - and it's happened. On lists totalling no more than a 1000 different individuals, we have enough friends to show we can make a difference. Fantastic. (Actually, it's 999, given one of your spies leaked my e-mail to you, but who's counting?)

So thanks for the comic relief, Bolta. We need a laugh now and then in this grim ol' world...and I think it is so generous you gave the laughter and merriment to me today.

PS To Andrew's spy - check out http://www.bettybowers.com/homoagenda.html It has the whole homosexual agenda. Now you know, saves you being on a list or lists that you don't need to be on.

A campain about nothing

2007-11-16T16:34:00.000-08:00

hi all

It's just hit me - this is the Seinfeld election...a campaign about nothing.

(7 days to go)

Hi there...er?

2007-11-05T02:54:00.000-08:00

The current craze is the greeting (for example in a cafe or bar by the staff) "Hi GUYS, what can I get you?" etc

So I have a question. If addressing a group of people, regardless of the sex or gender identity of all of the group, as "guys" is considered "gender generic," let's start addressing a group of people, regardless of the sex or gender identity of all of the group as "hi GIRLS, what can I get you?"

Customer service

2007-11-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

Being born in 1965, pretty much a baby boomer/Gen X cusp, I'm at least 1/2 part of Generation that thought customer service was the norm. You always received good service even from banks (and no, people weren't on hallucinegenics all the time in the 60's, it really happened).

Nowadays, there's a hardly any management that remembers "without customers, we don't have a job." (One corporate landlord of a former workplace of mine told my boss in a dispute, "if you want service, go down to McDonalds!")

But there are exceptions...

Most Sundays, I pop into the 7/11 near 3 CR before presenting "Out of the Pan" (alright subtle plug) to buy a newspaper, maybe a caffeinated soft drink (no plug there)...and also my Metcard for the next day.

Today, the person behind the counter, before I could ask, said "and do you need your Metcard?"

How many hundreds of people must that person serve, yet remembered I need a Metcard?

In the words of Jesse "The Body" Ventura, "I'm impressed...and I don't impress easy."

Rest assured she received a huge thank you.

beating depression

2007-10-26T18:29:00.000-07:00

For most of my life, I've experienced depression to some degree. Some things have helped achieve breakthroughs in reducing it.

But the biggest one was about 4 weeks ago. Somehow, from out of nowhere, my little pea-brain said, "I accept depression as a part of myself." I haven't had any depression for a month.

Worming through the boredom - 28 days to go

2007-10-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

Victorians may remember the last time they experienced a long election campaign. 1992, the ALP under Joan Kirner was suffering under the Pyramid Building Society Collapse, selling the State Bank and other issues. A long campaign was called in the vain hope it might somehow save the ALP.

It didn't work...and it won't work for John Howard now.

And how could John Howard disown the worm - has he disowned part of his own family? (Meoooooooooooooooooooooooow!)

38 days to go - countdown to Australia's future

2007-10-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

Australia really has to make up it's mind this time.

Do we want to be true to our fair-minded nature or continue down a path of nastiness, divisiveness, spin-doctoring, head-kicking and diversion tactics?

Sure, in terms of the 2 largest parties (I refuse to call them "major") it's more Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee than ever.

So look below the surface. Analyse. Think carefully about what values really matter. Then weigh up your preferences carefully.

Dick Pratt - lots of fat

2007-10-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

So multi-billionaire Dick Pratt and VISY get fined $36 million.

How much money did they gain via the cartel arrangement - why not make that the amount of the fine?

What about VISY's attempt to slug a $120 per annum admininistration fee on customers with one recycling bin? More abuse of market power...

Please, are any political parties committed to strengthening the Trade Practices Act to stop abuse of market power, whether monopoly or not?

the very samesame 25

2007-10-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

Basically, if you're a Sydney gayboy (or a rich Melbourne one) , you're more likely to be considered an influential gay or lesbian in Australia http://www.samesame.com.au/25

OK, if this is an Australian survey, surely all queer Aussies would at least be able to recognise the names.

Strike 1: I only recognised 11 of 25 at 1st reading; one more became clearer on reading the bios. 200% agreement on Justice Michael Kirby, David Marr, Bob Brown and Anthony Venn-Brown, relaxed re 8 others. 13 who the faquawe? And where are Ian Roberts and Rodney Croome?

Strike 2: Why only gays and lesbians (sigh)? Where are the BTI? (samsex didn't even have the courtesy to answer my e-mail on this)

Strike 3 (and it's definitely inning over): Tom McFeely? A man who admits he "doesn't understand lesbian culture?" A man who gets an exemption from equal opportunity law on the gender identity attribute when trans and intersex people aren't even an issue? This MSG (misogynist separatist gayboy) from a bygone era doesn't even have a CLUE about the community. He can't run a venue without residents complaining. His community support is at best minuscule. Sorry, but I don't want someone like that "influencing" me.

Yes, very same same - and overall, survey very irrelevant.

With apologies to Carole King: the PM's referendum

2007-10-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

So , having tried all the wedge and personal dirt tactics. John Howard's trying a new shock tactic - a gentler, kinder Liberal Party.

I would love it if the coalition went ahead with a referendum on recognising indigenous Australians on our Constitution. Goddess knows our long-suffering Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders deserve it.

But can I believe that would happen if the L/NP were re-elected? No, I can't. For nearly 12 years this has been a government that has shown no humanity about anything. All of a sudden it becomes caring and sharing? Sorry, don't trust you...

Nup. With apologies to Carole King, my ode to the PM's announcement:

And it's too late, baby, now it's too late.
Though you kinda did try to make it.
Something inside has died and you can't hide
And you just can't fake it

It's too late...

Anthony Venn-Brown - a gutsy legend

2007-10-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

I finally had the pleasure of meeting Anthony and hearing him on his visit to Melbourne this week.

I find this person amazing and inspirational. That he can build bridges with what seems like a strictly anti-gay hierarchy (as distinct from the whole organisation and its membership) is almost unbelievable - especially to people like me who have seen some anti-gay people on their worst behaviour.

In the old days, the phrase was a "gentleman and a scholar", nowadays it's "he's a dude."* Both phrases apply to Anthony.

* (not intended to be gender specific)

http://www.anthonyvennbrown.com/

Consistent standards - race card a trick deal against Federal Coalition

2007-10-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, gangs were targeting clothing stores taking away expensive running shoes and "track" type of gear.

Obviously, these people have failed to integrate into society and need to be deported...except,n hang on, they were Caucasians born in Australia.

I think the only people can't integrate into Australia are most of the Federal Coalition - they can't integrate into decent human values that deep down, most Australians share.

A Warne-ing

2007-10-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

Shane Warne this week spoke out on the upcoming tour of Australia by India, saying niggle will make for good cricket. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22526270-5001505,00.html

Actually Shane, skillful batting, bowling and fielding will make for good cricket. Niggle, sledging and the rest belong in the rubbish bin.

Bradman and Woodfull must be turning in their graves.

Howard...very clever politican...regardless of who is destroyed

2007-10-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

John Howard is a very clever politician when it comes to attacking opponents...including those in his own party.

Malcolm Turnbull is now effectively wedged (or is that "in the Gunn") over the Tasmanian pulp mill. More people are likely to campaign against him in his seat of Wentworth. It won't help him in retaining that seat.

Does John Howard lose sleep over that? One less leadership threat for him to worry about. After all, the PM has already neutralised Peter Costello over the "team job" issue. If the Liberal win and Howard retains Bennelong, he'll find a way to weasel out of any succession plan deal. If the Liberals win but Howard loses Bennelong, well not John's problem.

But if the Liberals lose (regardless of Bennelong) Howard can then say it was Costello's bad image that brought us down and shift the blame off himself - thereby taking Pete down with him.

Brendan Nelson, watch your back. John Howard is a very politician for sure…and he’ll exercise that cleverness wherever his egoic insecurities need him to.

The tragic waste of footballers

2007-10-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

First things first. Sympathies and condolences to the family, colleagues and friends of Chris Mainwaring. A terrible loss at a relatively young age.

How many of us, especially us poor wageslaves dream of making lots of money early in life and being able to retire by 40, forever running off to live on a beach while some sexy person rubs suntan cream into our back? Hands going up everywhere?

AFL footballers (and those of other codes, possibly other sports) have the chance to do just this. They have a unique skill, they earn their money honestly. Yet it seems time after time we hear of waste through substances, sex scandals and all the rest.

So how much effort is put into financial management, savings plans and all the rest? Surely it's time the clubs, the players' managers and the codes offered financial management skills as part of everything else? Maybe then the money wouldn't be wasted on unhealthy things?

And maybe we won't lose someone so early again.

Geelong - a victory for commonsense leadership

2007-09-30T02:04:00.000-07:00

In an age of short-term instant gratification and greed, the Geelong AFL Grand Final victory is a huge win for patience, persistance and perserverence. The Cats stuck with Bomber Thompson for 7 seasons without a flag. Most clubs (most organisations) would have booted him after 3 years or so. But Geelong showed those one of those qualities sadly lacking in today's life: loyalty, and after 8 years the benefits burst through. Geelong supporters:party hard (and safely) - you deserve it 200%! Richmond - take note on how to do it - please!

Welcome

2007-09-30T01:41:00.000-07:00

Hi there Universe

Welcome to the world of Sally.

What sort of topics could be posted here?

Gender identity stuff, sex and gender, queer stuff, especially as realting to (Melbourne Australia), Federal and Victorian politics, issues around psychological health, stand-up comedy and WWE (we could debate the differences and similarities between the last two)...or whatever's there to communicate about. It could be serious and it could be humourous. It could be whatever happens on the day. It could be personal or a world issue...or it just could be...

Cheeyars, blessings and magic

check out in the meantime
http://www.laughagenda.com.au/
http://www.transgendervictoria.com/
http://www.3cr.org.au/