Alright, deliberately provocative, generalized and politically incorrect title. However, I’ve seen too many people afflicted by RMP to not comment on it.
RMP refers to trans* people, particularly trans* women who continue to behave in angry, aggressive, selfish ways long after they have resolved their internal sex-and-gender conflict. The term was coined, half-jokingly, half-seriously by a friend of mine some years ago and seems to have stuck in my head.
Seriously, of course, anger isn’t necessarily a problem in itself. It is a human emotion and we are all human. Nor, of course is it “wrong” for any person to be angry, regardless of the person’s sex, gender identity or whether they are trans or cis. It’s what happens with that anger that’s the issue.
Now, some would say “if they someone wants to be angry, isn’t that their problem?” Well, yes and no. It’s sad to see it, but you cannot control other people’s lives. Still anger (and other negative emotions) stored in the body become health issues such as tumors, cancer and polyps. And even putting health aside, you get back what you give out…not good.
But what happens when such people start running social and support groups and are in a position to influence others? It can be dangerous and unhealthy for those negatively impacted, especially those just “coming out” who are often at a very vulnerable and emotional stage of their lives.
It’s understandable that the first part of a trans person’s life is painful and frustrating. For those who, due to society’s expectations, live as male in that first half of their life, there can be difficulty expressing emotions. Those designated as men weren’t allowed to express emotions…with one exception…anger.
But what’s the reason for continuing to express it when you’ve resolved the gender issues? No reason. But it seems some people seem to do stay angry on autopilot.
A person can reprogram their autopilot. Deal with the past. Understand and acknowledge it’s painful. Hit pillows, do forgiveness rituals, go to counseling, try hypnotherapy. Whatever works for you. But there’s really no reason to be angry any more. There’s enough negative karma in the world already; avoid adding to it if you can.
Better still, put something peaceful out there instead.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Veruca Salt Syndrome
Remember Veruca Salt? No, not the band, but the character in the film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” She’s famous for uttering the line (in a whining selfish voice) “I want it now” - thankfully before disappearing down the bad egg chute.
Veruca Salt syndrome seems to be afflicting society more and more nowadays. With radio, telephones, television, direct satellite transmission, internet, facebook, SMS and twitter the idea an instant response is compulsory spirals out of control. Don’t answer a text within 5 minutes and people call saying “are you ok?” Pedestrians deliberately cross the road against the lights because they won’t wait.
This is having its effect on life for trans* folk too. The journey of watching my body change to match my gender identity was exciting. I enjoyed that journey. I was happy to make sure that physically and psychologically I went through proper medical processes. Any pharmaceutical (for that matter many over-the-counter products) can have side effects and I wanted to be sure all was ok. This seems logical, sensible, in my interests and in the interests of the health professionals treating me.
But some people don’t think so. They think they have a right to everything without proper checks. They double or triple dose running the risk of blood clots. They even give some of their own hormone medications to others which is not only dangerous and stupid, but a criminal offence for both the supplier and recipient.
The Universe will work at the pace it needs to work. It happens for a reason. It’s time as society we slowed down and took a deep breath. Maybe some of the violence, aggro and stress will diminish. And maybe trans people will be better off too.
http://tinyurl.com/ycw64mj refers to the law in Victoria, Australia. Check your state or territory for relevant laws.
Veruca Salt syndrome seems to be afflicting society more and more nowadays. With radio, telephones, television, direct satellite transmission, internet, facebook, SMS and twitter the idea an instant response is compulsory spirals out of control. Don’t answer a text within 5 minutes and people call saying “are you ok?” Pedestrians deliberately cross the road against the lights because they won’t wait.
This is having its effect on life for trans* folk too. The journey of watching my body change to match my gender identity was exciting. I enjoyed that journey. I was happy to make sure that physically and psychologically I went through proper medical processes. Any pharmaceutical (for that matter many over-the-counter products) can have side effects and I wanted to be sure all was ok. This seems logical, sensible, in my interests and in the interests of the health professionals treating me.
But some people don’t think so. They think they have a right to everything without proper checks. They double or triple dose running the risk of blood clots. They even give some of their own hormone medications to others which is not only dangerous and stupid, but a criminal offence for both the supplier and recipient.
The Universe will work at the pace it needs to work. It happens for a reason. It’s time as society we slowed down and took a deep breath. Maybe some of the violence, aggro and stress will diminish. And maybe trans people will be better off too.
http://tinyurl.com/ycw64mj refers to the law in Victoria, Australia. Check your state or territory for relevant laws.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Book Review: Catalyst - Stories of Awakening
“Catalyst: Stories of Awakening” is the first book by Kyra-Ly (KL) Joy. Based on her observations of the Melbourne BDSM/kink scene, it is a series of stories that are largely self-contained yet simultaneously are part of a developing holistic scene that moves to a dramatic and moving climax. As her first book it shows a very sound foundation as a writer that will clearly see more (an excerpt from her second offering is included as a teaser).
The characters in the stories develop and grow, always showing different aspects to their multi-dimensional personalities. No-one is 100% dom(me) or sub, either in kink or life in general and while this is obvious for someone like Kate aka Lady Morghana, it is subtly there for all the main players.
The scenes cover a range of BDSM from the more obvious spanking through to quieter scenarios and are entertaining as well as being educational but not preachy. They also cover all sexual orientations without batting an eyelid. The genuine affection KL has for the people of the scene glistens from opening to closing page via the characters portrayed
One scene stands out as particularly beautiful. So as not to spoil your appetite, I’ll just say it is one towards the end of the book following a very powerful and unexpectedly climactic moment. It is a moving endorsement of the true beauty of the BDSM/kink scene that happily nukes the inaccurate perceptions held by many outside it. The result is a demonstration of high level of self-awareness/personal development/emotional intelligence needed to be a true BDSM player.
Even those on the fringes of the scene will recognize some Melbourne figures and venues. The curious, beginners, intermediate and advanced alike will find enjoyment in Catalyst. Given the mention of trams the tourism commission should also recognize Melbourne. Melbourne is, after all, a city that celebrates diversity so let’s bring in the tourist kinksters!
And filmmakers take note. The book would work well with only little adoption required to make the transformation onto the screen. In the meantime, buy Catalyst, read...and enjoy.
The characters in the stories develop and grow, always showing different aspects to their multi-dimensional personalities. No-one is 100% dom(me) or sub, either in kink or life in general and while this is obvious for someone like Kate aka Lady Morghana, it is subtly there for all the main players.
The scenes cover a range of BDSM from the more obvious spanking through to quieter scenarios and are entertaining as well as being educational but not preachy. They also cover all sexual orientations without batting an eyelid. The genuine affection KL has for the people of the scene glistens from opening to closing page via the characters portrayed
One scene stands out as particularly beautiful. So as not to spoil your appetite, I’ll just say it is one towards the end of the book following a very powerful and unexpectedly climactic moment. It is a moving endorsement of the true beauty of the BDSM/kink scene that happily nukes the inaccurate perceptions held by many outside it. The result is a demonstration of high level of self-awareness/personal development/emotional intelligence needed to be a true BDSM player.
Even those on the fringes of the scene will recognize some Melbourne figures and venues. The curious, beginners, intermediate and advanced alike will find enjoyment in Catalyst. Given the mention of trams the tourism commission should also recognize Melbourne. Melbourne is, after all, a city that celebrates diversity so let’s bring in the tourist kinksters!
And filmmakers take note. The book would work well with only little adoption required to make the transformation onto the screen. In the meantime, buy Catalyst, read...and enjoy.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
A fair cop
Have to send this around after being involved again in this today (3/9)...
Cheeyars
Sally
On Thursday 6 August, I had the exciting opportunity to be involved in a new addition to training for police recruits. Along with Greg Adkins of the Anti-Violence Project, Jamie Gardiner, people from the indigenous community, a hard-of-hearing person, and people originally from Chile, Burma, Sudan and the Congo we took part in the second cultural diversity training exercise.
The program involves the 50 or so recruits at the academy being divided into groups of 6 or 8 and each community representative spending about10 minutes with each group, then rotating around (no, it’s not speed dating!). Seriously, the onus was on the recruits to take the initiative and ask questions about our experience, as well as asking re issues that may affect their duties e.g. the correct pronouns to use, what happens when a transgender person unfortunately ends up in custody. More a “living library book” type approach than speed dating…
My personal highlight was when I mentioned a favourite queer DVD, only to have one participant pipe up with “that’s my favourite too!” We agreed on our 2nd favourite too! Dare I say a case of the police “recruiting” queers?
I can understand the hurt created by police discrimination of the past (I’ve copped some myself) and appreciate it might not be easy for some to let it go. However, I’m now firmly convinced that if individual police might be homophobic in their private lives, they won’t have the opportunity to be that way in the job, as there has been an overwhelming turnaround in the culture of Victoria Police.
Recruits gave feedback that this was the highlight of their training. All participants want to take the idea further with something like an informal barbeque where we could connect further – we’ll make it happen!
Mention must be made of people like Jill Wood and Dave Truman who stood up in darker times; Melinda Edwards, Scott Davis and the GLLO team; former Chief Commissioner Christine Nixon who led the first official VicPol contingent in the 2002 Pride March and Simon Overland for his support of IDAHO in May this year. Apologies if I've missed anyone.
It’s 40 years since Stonewall when police systemically harassed queers and 40 years since Woodstock . The times definitely are a’changin’ in Victoria.
Cheeyars
Sally
On Thursday 6 August, I had the exciting opportunity to be involved in a new addition to training for police recruits. Along with Greg Adkins of the Anti-Violence Project, Jamie Gardiner, people from the indigenous community, a hard-of-hearing person, and people originally from Chile, Burma, Sudan and the Congo we took part in the second cultural diversity training exercise.
The program involves the 50 or so recruits at the academy being divided into groups of 6 or 8 and each community representative spending about10 minutes with each group, then rotating around (no, it’s not speed dating!). Seriously, the onus was on the recruits to take the initiative and ask questions about our experience, as well as asking re issues that may affect their duties e.g. the correct pronouns to use, what happens when a transgender person unfortunately ends up in custody. More a “living library book” type approach than speed dating…
My personal highlight was when I mentioned a favourite queer DVD, only to have one participant pipe up with “that’s my favourite too!” We agreed on our 2nd favourite too! Dare I say a case of the police “recruiting” queers?
I can understand the hurt created by police discrimination of the past (I’ve copped some myself) and appreciate it might not be easy for some to let it go. However, I’m now firmly convinced that if individual police might be homophobic in their private lives, they won’t have the opportunity to be that way in the job, as there has been an overwhelming turnaround in the culture of Victoria Police.
Recruits gave feedback that this was the highlight of their training. All participants want to take the idea further with something like an informal barbeque where we could connect further – we’ll make it happen!
Mention must be made of people like Jill Wood and Dave Truman who stood up in darker times; Melinda Edwards, Scott Davis and the GLLO team; former Chief Commissioner Christine Nixon who led the first official VicPol contingent in the 2002 Pride March and Simon Overland for his support of IDAHO in May this year. Apologies if I've missed anyone.
It’s 40 years since Stonewall when police systemically harassed queers and 40 years since Woodstock . The times definitely are a’changin’ in Victoria.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
